How Do You Respond to Lies? (Part 2)

There have been times in my life when I felt that I was suddenly dropped into opposite world. Conversations and events that I was a part of, along with others, were completely turned around. The actions or words that were falsely attributed to me were the very actions or words of those who were repeating the matter in a false way. Some of these situations were harder to take when other individuals, who had been present in the original situation, for fear or perhaps lack of character, began agreeing with the liars. Then, there were those who believed the lie without doing any due diligence by coming to me to seek out the truth.

We used to live in a society of innocent until proven guilty. However, that is no longer the case. All it takes is for a few people to make disparaging remarks or attribute actions that were not committed by the individual and someone’s reputation, business, ministry, or family is damaged. We are more willing to believe the bad about people than we are to believe the good.

In Part 1 of this series, we learned what the Bible says about liars. We now will examine what the Bible says our response to lies should be.

First, anyone who hears disparaging remarks about someone has a biblical responsibility. That responsibility is thoroughly covered in the blog post, Protecting Yourself from Being an Unknowing Gossip. 

Additionally, we must follow biblical principles regarding lying.

**Hate lies; love truth.

• Psalm 119:104, Through thy precepts I get understanding: therefore I hate every false way.

• Psalm 119:128, Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right; and I hate every false way.

**Focus our hearts on seeking truth.

• Philippians 4:8, Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

• Proverbs 4:23, Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. 

**Remove liars from your life. In other words, run; run far away from a liar.

• Psalm 101:7, He that worketh deceit shall not dwell within my house: he that telleth lies shall not tarry in my sight.

• Proverbs 4:24, Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.

• Proverbs 17:4, A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.

**Do not allow yourself to become entwined in falsehoods or situations in which someone is destroying the life, reputation, business, or ministry of another. 

• Exodus 23:7, Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked.

But, what if I am the victim of lies?

We have excellent examples to follow in God’s Word when we are faced with the trial of lies.

**Jesus, Himself, was falsely accused, yet He answered not.

• Matthew 27:12, And when he was accused of the chief priests and elders, he answered nothing.

**Stephen, in the budding church in Acts, is another example. The disciples appointed Stephen, along with six other men, to be the first deacons. Acts 6:8, And Stephen, full of faith and power, did great wonders and miracles among the people. Nevertheless, men of the synagogue disputed with Stephen and could not overcome his wisdom and spirit. (Acts 6:9-10) These men stirred up the people against Stephen. The word “suborned” in verse 11 means they bribed men to lie. 

• Acts 6:11, 13, Then they suborned men, which said, We have heard him speak blasphemous words against Moses, and against God. 13 And set up false witnesses, which said, This man ceaseth not to speak blasphemous words against this holy place, and the law: 

Instead of defending himself when allowed to speak, Stephen presents salvation through the history of the Jewish people. (Acts 7:1-53) Despite cutting through to their hearts (conviction), they turned on him, took him out, and stoned him. Sometimes, we may suffer wrongs when we serve our Savior.

**King David is a prime Old Testament example of facing liars. From King Saul to his own son, Absalom, David was lied about and had many conspirators against him. When King Saul came after him, David was careful not to touch God’s anointed. King Saul may not have been following God, but David knew it was not his place to correct or address him. When Absalom stole the hearts of the people away from King David, David stepped aside, leaving his position as king in the hands of God. Throughout Psalms, we see David pray for those who lied, focus on the Lord, and leave the outcome of judgment in the Lord’s hands.

• Psalm 63:9-11, But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth. ¹⁰ They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes.¹¹ But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.

It is difficult when we are being lied about, having errant rumors spread about us, and having our names and reputations tarnished, at the very least. However, Jesus tells us how to handle these situations.

Matthew 5:11-12  Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. ¹² Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

When we decide to take a stand to do right, to follow the Lord and His Word, will and way, we will suffer wrongs for His sake. Remember, God is our defense. He will protect us and judge those who insist on remaining in wickedness, often catching them in their own web of lies.

Psalm 5:9-12  For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue. ¹⁰ Destroy thou them, O God; let them fall by their own counsels; cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions; for they have rebelled against thee. ¹¹ But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee. ¹² For thou, Lord, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield.

For the rest of this series, follow the links below:

What Does the Bible Say about Lying? (Part 1) 

Who is Really Hurt by Lying? (Part 3) 

Who Really is Hurt by Lying? (Part 3)

If you are the victim of lies, then you know the damage that is done to you. Tarnished reputations, loss of business or finances, and, in some cases, alienation from those who you consider family and friends are just a few of the repercussions for the victim.

If you are the liar, you may think that you are innocent. Prolific liars often convince themselves that what they are saying is true; in fact, they become so good at it that they can take the truth and twist and turn it to make it say whatever they want it to say even to the point of creating false documents or photos with just the click of a few computer buttons. While they think they are getting away with something, all they have succeeded in doing is making themselves untrustworthy.

However, a great damage is done when “Christians” or church members lie. We, the church, have a serious problem on our hands.

If you have followed our ministry at all, or read other of my posts, you may have caught that we deal with the worst of the worst in church situations. When Dan’s phone rings, it is often because the pastor and/or church have come to a breaking point. All too often in the last decade or so, the trouble is with the tongue of someone in the church.

I am not exactly sure when it occurred, but the church went through a beautification program on the word “lying”. We now call it “gossip”. Rarely do we hear it preached against. Nonetheless, the world has been and is watching. I know this. How? Because one of the things we do is to talk to the locals to gain an understanding of the community thought regarding the distraught church. You see, once a church has lost its testimony, it becomes ineffective.

How is a church’s testimony damaged? Through the actions and words of the church members. Many of the situations we have dealt with were in small towns. Often, it is after the church has gone through a battle that we learned the truth. It never is good for the church members.

In several situations, we had been inviting those in the community to particular churches. It was after a church blow up in each church that we learned why those individuals would not visit for a fall festival or other such outreach or services. Here are just a few of the statements we heard.

• “Now that all this has happened, we just wanted you to know that we didn’t visit because so-and-so attended there. All they do is run down the church they attend. I didn’t want to say anything because I was afraid of stirring up trouble.”

• “I didn’t visit because several of the members there have done me wrong in business. I can’t trust them.”

• “I didn’t visit because so-and-so works for me. I knew he went to church there and he was one of the worst employees I have.”

• “I couldn’t understand how you could go to that church. The people (listing several names) are nothing but troublemakers in the office, school, or community. They are always running their mouths.”

 What a tremendous testimony these churches had!! (read dripping with sarcasm)

It still strikes me that these unsaved men and women have more scruples about them than the “Christians” who are supposed to be living a life exemplifying Christ.

Unfortunately, those that these statements were made about were the very ones who caused the blow-ups in the churches. These were the ones to set themselves up in leadership in the power vacuum following the blow-ups. These were the ones who had purported themselves for years to be something they were not. These men and women had so described themselves as “somebodies” in the communities in which they lived that the pastors were concerned of losing people if they addressed their sin issues; the pastors feared the bad things they might say about them or the church. (This should have been the first clue there was a problem.) What these pastors did not know was that they were losing far more people who refused even to visit the church because of these people. They were known to be members there, and not in a good way.

Sadly, those churches, as others like them, are a stumbling block to the cause of Christ in those communities. They have caused a hardness that others are now having to combat. It has caused ripple effects into other churches as well as these liars have emboldened others to assume power and position that is not theirs biblically to have.

I keep hearing people use this catch phrase: The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints. Why would a sinner want to attend a church to seek help for their sin-sick soul when members of the church have no discretion in repeating everyone else’s problems? We have HIPAA laws to protect our medical privacy. Do we really need those in the church as well? It sends a signal to those hurting and needing help that the church cannot be trusted.

Then, we have church against church, and pastor against pastor tearing one another down. Is it any wonder that the world has a serious distrust of religion and those who supposedly represent it?

There has been a breach of trust. Once trust is broken, it is extremely difficult to repair. In taking counseling classes, we learned that for every negative a person experiences, it takes anywhere from 5 to 20 positives to overcome it; to rebuild that trust. Lying, gossiping, talebearing, telling a little white lie… whatever it is called must be stopped. And, it must be addressed in the home and in the church. We do not know the time that the Lord will return, so we must live each day as if it were today. How wonderful to be speaking to a lost and dying world of our Heavenly Father when Christ returns rather than tearing down a fellow brother or sister in Christ.

We need to be ever so careful with our words and our actions. We are not alone in this world. We, as Christians, are here to be a light. That light is snuffed out each time Christians run their mouths about others. Believe it or not, the world does expect us to act in accordance with the Bible that we claim to follow.


For more in this series, follow the links below:

What Does the Bible Say about Lying? (Part 1)

How Do You Respond to Lies? (Part 2) 

What Does the Bible Say about Lying? (Part 1)

What exactly is a lie? Webster’s Dictionary provides several definitions. As a verb, a lie is to make an untrue statement with intent to deceive or to create a false or misleading impression. As a noun, a lie is an assertion of something known or believed by the speaker to be untrue with intent to deceive, an untrue or inaccurate statement that may or may not be believed true by the speaker, or something that misleads or deceives.

We see the following words often today to describe a lie: a white lie, gossip, a fib or ‘fiblet’, a tall story or tall tale, a misstatement, a misrepresentation, disinformation, a whopper. Innocuous, aren’t they? More shocking are the words: slander, libel, defamation, perjury, backbiting, dishonesty, deceit, fraud. We do not hear these words much any longer to describe a lie, as they are deemed too harsh.

Proverbs 12:17  He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit.

Why would someone lie? Here are a few possibilities.

1. Self-preservation. In other words, liars attempt to protect themselves from punishment for wrongdoing.
2. Jealousy. Liars simply want to discredit or hurt the innocent because of jealousy over accomplishments or abilities.
3. Fear. Often, liars fear the lack of or the potential loss of a position or popularity. In order to achieve or “protect” themselves, they will do whatever it takes to discredit anyone they fear may gain more popularity or position than they currently have.
4. To gain some perceived advantage. We see this during political campaigns with mud-slinging commercials and “news” articles. However, this has crept into business practices as well; cases are being revealed of false “reviews” of businesses and restaurants in order to hurt the competition or false positive "reviews" in order to gain business. It also occurs in the office and church setting as liars hope to gain a promotion, position or recognition. 
5. Bullying. Some use lying to control and manipulate others in order to accomplish their own desires or agenda.

Proverbs 25:18  A man that beareth false witness against his neighbour is a maul, and a sword, and a sharp arrow.

Isaiah 32:6  For the vile person will speak villany, and his heart will work iniquity, to practise hypocrisy, and to utter error against the Lord, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and he will cause the drink of the thirsty to fail.

Today, we seem to expect to be lied to; we do nothing to combat it. In fact, in some countries, it is culturally accepted to lie. God, however, does not see it that way. The Bible has a great deal to say about lying. Our first reference to lying, or deception, is in the story of Eve and the serpent. First references in scripture are very important. Here is the conversation.

Serpent: “Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” (Genesis 3:1) (He caused Eve to question what God said, the truth.)

Eve: “We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.” (Genesis 3:2-3) (As Eve related what God said, she added to the truth. Here is what God actually said: ¹⁶ And the Lord   God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:¹⁷ But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. (Genesis 2:16-17)

Serpent: “Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4-5) (The serpent took God’s word, which Eve had added to, and discredited it. He told Eve that she was being kept away from something; he created a desire in her for something she was not supposed to have.) 

And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. (Genesis 3:6)

This first reference encompasses all there is in deception and lies. Truth is questioned; truth is added to (think of the telephone game); truth is replaced with reasoning (if this, then that); truth is sacrificed for one’s own desires.

Jacob, the Deceiver, stole the blessing from his brother Esau. (Genesis 27:1-29) His Uncle Laban later deceived Jacob over working for Rachel for seven years but giving Jacob Leah instead at the end of that time. (Genesis 29:15-30) Laban also deceived Jacob in his wages ten times over the years. (Genesis 31:7)

When God gave Moses the Law, He addressed lying, deception, tale bearing, and false witnesses multiple times.

Exodus 20:16  Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Exodus 23:1  Thou shalt not raise a false report: put not thine hand with the wicked to be an unrighteous witness.

Exodus 23:7  Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not: for I will not justify the wicked.

Leviticus 6:5  Or all that about which he hath sworn falsely; he shall even restore it in the principal, and shall add the fifth part more thereto, and give it unto him to whom it appertaineth, in the day of his trespass offering. (See all of Leviticus 6:2-6)

Leviticus 19:11  Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another.

Leviticus 19:12  And ye shall not swear by my name falsely, neither shalt thou profane the name of thy God: I am the Lord.

Deuteronomy 5:20  Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Deuteronomy 19:16-19  ¹⁶ If a false witness rise up against any man to testify against him that which is wrong; ¹⁷ Then both the men, between whom the controversy is, shall stand before the Lord, before the priests and the judges, which shall be in those days; ¹⁸ And the judges shall make diligent inquisition: and, behold, if the witness be a false witness, and hath testified falsely against his brother; ¹⁹ Then shall ye do unto him, as he had thought to have done unto his brother: so shalt thou put the evil away from among you.

Perhaps, however, the greatest indication of God’s thoughts regarding lying and deception are found in Proverbs.

Proverbs 6:16-19  ¹⁶ These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: ¹⁷ A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, ¹⁹ A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

God will not tolerate lying. We may try to gloss over it, thinking that it is not a big deal. Judgment of the liar may not be swift, to our minds at least, but judgment will come. Just as when you lied to your parents your lies eventually were exposed, you then received the punishment, not only for the original infraction but also for the lie. Our all-seeing, all-knowing Heavenly Father will enact judgment. How can we know this? Because of His Word.

Psalm 5:6  Thou shalt destroy them that speak leasing [lying]: the Lord will abhor the bloody and deceitful man. 

Proverbs 19:5  A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall not escape.

Proverbs 19:9  A false witness shall not be unpunished, and he that speaketh lies shall perish.

Proverbs 21:28  A false witness shall perish: but the man that heareth speaketh constantly.

Proverbs 26:27  Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein: and he that rolleth a stone, it will return upon him.

For more in this series, follow the links below:

How Do You Respond to Lies? (Part 2)

Who Really is Hurt by Lying? (Part 3) 

Protect Yourself from Being an Unknowing Gossip

Most of us know what gossip is… when it is about us. However, we sometimes have difficulty identifying it when we are in a conversation. A very informal definition of gossip might be a casual conversation about others which may involve details that are not confirmed as true. Often people gossip simply because they don’t know what else to say; they need to fill an awkward silence. Gossip is a problem in the workplace, in the church, and, yes, even in families.

Gossip is a divider of people, of co-workers, of friends, of family. Proverbs 16:28, A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. Proverbs 17:9, He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.

Gossip hurts. Gossip causes a physical and emotional response in the victim. Gossip can affect people’s reputations, their jobs and livelihoods, and their relationships. Proverbs 18:8 and 26:22, The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

A gossip is notorious for denying talking about people or spreading rumors. It is very difficult to determine the originator of a rumor or false statement. Why? Because they make sure to be as sweet, loving, and concerned as can be to deflect attention away from them. Proverbs 20:19, He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

As they say, “It takes two to tango.” Well, it takes two to gossip as well – the teller and the hearer. How do you protect yourself from being an unknowing gossip?

1. Guard your own conversation. It is in idle chit-chat where most gossip occurs. Those lulls in conversation do not need to be filled with “details.” If the conversation is over, either change the subject or move on. A good rule of thumb to follow: if the comments are not positive and uplifting, or the person being spoken about is not present, it shouldn’t be said. Matthew 12:36, But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.
2. Do not speculate. “Why wasn’t Gail at the ladies meeting?” “Well, you know her sister is in town and she is in some kind of trouble…. She probably had to help her.” Silly, isn’t it? But, it happens all the time. A simple, “I don’t know,” in response would suffice. Proverbs 17:4, A wicked doer giveth heed to false lips; and a liar giveth ear to a naughty tongue.
3. Stop the conversation by saying, “I don’t need to know.” In other words, you are telling the gossiper that you want no part of the conversation. A few times of hearing this phrase will assure you of being kept out of “the loop.” Proverbs 26:20, Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
4. Stop the conversation with praise and good words. If you are in a group where the phrase “I don’t need to know” may not be able to be used, you can deflect the gossip by speaking words of praise and good words about the person. “Why, I just can’t believe that about Sam. Yesterday, he was so nice to help me with the bags I was bringing into the building.”
5. Go to the person being talked about or whom the rumor may adversely affect. We have seen several situations that if the hearers of the rumors had gone to the victim immediately several church blow ups would have been avoided. After the damage had been done, several went to the victims, apologized, and said they thought the victim had known. Many times if this was done immediately much hurt, anger, bitterness, and false statements would be avoided. As Barney Fife says, “Nip it! Nip it in the bud!” Matthew 18:15-17, 15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. If someone comes to you with a story about another, offer to go with him or her to the victim to find out the truth. More likely than not, the gossiper will not want to do so. Follow up on gossip and rumors. If someone comes to you with gossip, go to the person anyway. Often the victim is the last to know about what is being said. This simple act will do wonders for the victim. 
6. Accept that you do not need to know (or tell) all the details. Too often a “prayer request” turns into gossip. Those in ministry (full-time, part-time, and lay workers) often find themselves in situations where they are privy to many details. It is not your job to disseminate those details to others. If the person you are speaking to 1) is not part of the situation directly, or 2) is not able to help resolve the situation (authority figure), then do not repeat it to them. As for a “prayer request”, it is best to keep prayer requests as general as possible; God knows the details. Proverbs 11:13, A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
7. Remember, a talebearer is judged by God. Leviticus 19:16, Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour; I am the Lord.

Today, society winks at gossip; we consider it part of our social discourse. In fact, some believe that gossip helps to keep society “in check.” But God doesn’t “wink” at gossip. Three of the seven things listed as abominations in Proverbs 6 deal with the tongue. God doesn’t “dislike” gossip… He HATES it. Oh that we would have His heart on this matter.

Proverbs 6:16-19, 16 These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, 18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, 19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.

Did It Make You or Break You?

This morning I filled out an alumni information form for the Christian school where I graduated. They will be celebrating 40 years in a few weeks - a great accomplishment! Of course, these things tend to cause a great deal of retrospection and introspection. And, as I thought about those days, I was reminded of many who grew up during the same decades and what has taken place since.

If you ask many who attended Christian schools in the 70's, 80's, and early 90's you may hear a consensus of anger and, in some cases, that has turned to bitterness regarding their time in school. At the very least, there are tinges of derision, resentment, or scoffing. This also can be said of IFB churches during that same time. How do I know this? I see it on FaceBook and message boards. I hear it in conversations. Why?

The argument will be "that church" or "that school" did X.Y.Z. to me. Who did/do they think they were/are telling us how to dress, live, conduct ourselves? They let this group get away with ____ but when we did it they lowered the boom. (Yes, it did happen. No, you didn't imagine it. Inconsistency is possible by anyone... just ask your own kids.) Some will say that they (authority) did not follow God's Word; they twisted God's Word to make us do what they wanted.

I graduated from high school... well, ahem... in 1985. I graduated from a Christian college in 1989. I grew up in an IFB church and in the years since I have remained in and served in IFB churches. I have been accused over the years of "drinking the Kool-Aid." However, if those accusers would have spent a little time talking to me instead of accusing me they would have seen that I poured out the "Kool-Aid" long ago.

In our ministry, we see the worst of the worst in people... monthly, weekly, sometimes daily... often when things are at their darkest. We have dealt with pastors and their families who were utterly devastated by "their people", usually deacons, sometimes other staff, occasionally a group of disgruntled members. We've heard what these "godly" people have said to the pastor's kids and wives. We've seen how these men and, yes, sometimes those "sweet Christian" women, have gossiped, gone house to house and business to business as talebearers, and out right lied about pastors, their wives, and their kids. We have counseled with PK's (and their parents) who have said, "The CHURCH hurt me. I don't want anything else to do with it." Hmm....

We've also dealt with those who feel they have been bound and chained by the do's and don'ts of a "dictatorial pastor", a "tyrannical administrator", etc. We've heard every story under the sun of "all the financial problems a pastor has caused a church"; how these pastors have "hog-tied them and won't let them serve." We've heard these people say that they need to get rid of the pastor (authority) because they are hurting me. We've heard these people say that they will be in control; the "next" pastor just needs to "preach". Or, we've seen some simply leave (quietly or not) to go to churches where there are no rules, no standards, no responsibility, no confrontation of sin, or where "we just don't see interpret those passages the same way as you". Hmmm...

I have had a LONG time to think about this, to examine it, to pray and seek God's face on the matter. The "church" or the "school" didn't hurt you. Those are simply institutions... made up of people... made up with you included. The problem wasn't the schools; it wasn't the churches. It was people, individuals, the imperfect. And doesn't that describe ALL of us. Imperfect.

Here are a few things I've learned over the years that have helped me when others have hurt me or when I think I disagree with leadership. Maybe they will help you too.

• GOD'S WORD is the final authority to anything and everything that I do. It is my ABSOLUTE. Many say that they see certain scriptures differently than someone else does. Know this: that thinking is called "relativism" (a philosophy that conceptions of truth and moral values are not absolute but are relative to the persons or groups holding them). Relativism in the church has mixed God's Word with our opinions or thoughts in an attempt to compromise so that everyone can "get along" in "Christian love and fellowship." It is a worldly philosophy that slithered into Christian thinking; it is destroying churches, families, and individuals. 2 Peter 1:19-21, We have also a more sure word of prophecy; whereunto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a light that shineth in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day star arise in your hearts: Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.

• PEOPLE are imperfect which means they may do something that will hurt me at some point. Sometimes those who teach and guide us will hurt us. Sometimes a co-laborer, a fellow Christian may hurt us. Many times they are unaware of what they have done. Psalm 55:12-14, For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

• FORGIVENESS is essential. We may never confront those that have hurt us, but we must forgive them. In the parable of the king and servant in Matthew 18, the servant owed a debt that the king expected paid right away. The king granted leniency. The servant then went to those who owed him and showed no leniency. The king was appalled when he heard and delivered the servant to the "tormenters" until the debt was paid. When we continue to live in bondage, anger, and bitterness for those things done and said to us, we trample on the blood of Christ Who forgave us. Matthew 18:33-35, Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

• FORGIVENESS is not a one time thing. Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother when he sinned against him. Seven times? Matthew 18:22, Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

• FORGETTING isn't easy, but it is necessary to move on. The saying "forgive and forget" is nice, but the two do not come hand in hand. It has been said that forgiveness requires remembering graciously. In other words, remember the hurt without added anger and bitterness. Learn the lesson, use the lesson to help others, but don't dwell. Don't allow Satan to use past hurts as a tool to halt your walk with the Lord. Philippians 3:13-14, Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

• AUTHORITY isn't always right, but submitting to that authority is protection in God's plan. 

1. As a parent, I have not always made the best decisions, but when it came to my son, I expected him to obey whether I was right or wrong; it was his God-given protection. Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2. As a wife, I have not always agreed with my husband, but regardless of that, I am protected through obedience to my husband. He is the one who will answer to God for what happens with our family. My responsibility is to submit graciously whether I understand the decisions he makes or not. My submission is an example as to how we as Christians are to submit to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
3. As an employee, I don't always agree with the policies of the boss or company. But, they are the authority. If I'm going to keep my job, I will follow those policies and do what I am asked to do. Why? Because I am serving my Lord not man, and am a witness for Him. Ephesians 6:5-8, Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ; Not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but as the servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart; With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.   
4. As a church member, I may not always agree with how things are handled in the church - finances, policies, standards, etc. At these times, I ask myself if it is something from which to separate. If so, then I leave, move on - quietly. If not, then I keep my mouth shut and happily serve my Lord. I also pray for either understanding on my part or a change in the heart and actions of the pastor. How can I do that? I know that I am not going to be the one to stand before the Lord for the happenings of the church. The pastor is. Hebrews 13:7, 17 (7)Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. (17)Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you

The cause of Christ has suffered enough at our own divisiveness. We have much to do in these last days and it cannot be done when brother fights against brother, when hurts are harbored, when accusations and judgments are flung. The testimony of the church as a whole has been harmed. We no longer are salt and light to this world. It is time to forget those things which are behind, and reach forth unto those things which are before, by pressing toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

The fault for much of what took place during those "extreme" days was lack of teaching of one generation to the next, and it has persisted ever since. As we say in our ministry, the lack of teaching "the WHY." Yes, there were many do's and don'ts. They were the practical ways to deal with the Biblical principles. Could there have been different "practicals"? Sure. Each of us probably could come up with a number of different "practicals" that would have honored the principles.

But there were and are Biblical reasons for the "practicals" whether we understood them or not then or now. Whether they were taught to us or not, the "WHY" has always been there. There are Biblical principles for every aspect of life. 

"But, what are the chapter and verses?"

That would be so much easier, wouldn't it? But that isn't the case. One thing I've found over the years is that wisdom sought out for myself tends to "stick" better than when someone simply "tells me".

I am including a link to a PDF entitled "What To Do When There Isn't a Chapter and Verse." It includes seven basic Bible principles with verses that will help you discern what is right and wrong for any situation. 

In every aspect of life, first seek out what the whole counsel of God has to say about it. There is clear teaching for some areas. Be willing to change should the Lord convict you that your thoughts are wrong on the matter. Giving up long held traditions, thoughts, opinions, and, yes, assumptions is not easy. I've been there myself. For those "grey" areas, where there isn't a "chapter and verse" apply the seven Biblical principles to help discern what would be the BEST decision to make on the matter. Paul addressed just these things in Romans 14: 

³ Let not him that eateth despise him that eateth not; and let not him which eateth not judge him that eateth: for God hath received him.

⁴ Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

⁵ One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.

¹⁰ But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

¹² So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

¹³ Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

Some will be persuaded toward higher standards, others will not. We must not judge either as "right" or as "wrong". We must, as brothers and sisters in Christ, stop spouting our own "liberty" to do what we want and start considering if we are a stumbling block to another Christian. It isn't hard for me to submit myself to a higher (aka: stricter) standard that I personally do not hold when I keep in mind that I am trying to be a blessing instead of a stumbling block. How about you?

Now back to the original question. Did it make you or break you? Do you still live in bondage to past hurts?

"Well, no, I gave up all those 'standards' years ago."

Then, why do you still hold a grudge? It broke you.

"I won't go back to that place. They hurt me. I can't stand to see those people. They didn't care about me when I was there. I hope they fail."

Why are you unloving and unkind toward them? It broke you.

"I think that they should change their rules. Don't they know they are hurting others?"

Why are you critical because they do not change? It broke you.

"You know, it really doesn't matter what happened back then. All of it was a part of molding me to what I am today. Yes, people hurt me. I've forgiven them.... frankly, it wasn't easy, but with God's help... No, I didn't understand some of the rules, but now I see what they were trying to do. They were human; they did the best that they knew how at the time. If anything, I learned to dig into the Word for myself to see what the Lord would have me to do."

Those extreme days didn't define me... they helped make me.

Right and Almost Right

"Discernment is not a matter of simply telling the difference between right and wrong; rather it is telling the difference between right and almost right." ~ C.H. Spurgeon. 

God's Word is absolute. We need to know it so well that we can pick out even the smallest lie. Beware of mixing traditions, philosophy, opinion, and preferences with God's Word.

2 Timothy 2:15 Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. 16 But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.

Godly Counsel

Thankful for the counsel of God's Word and those He places in my life to give godly counsel. Times of trial serve to bring me closer to Him... not to drive me away. And, yes, at times my flesh and heart fails just as the Psalmist David's did, but God is my strength. The trial simply provides me another opportunity to proclaim His working in my life.

Psalm 73:24-26, 28 - Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. 26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. 28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.

Know the Word...

Spiritual discernment is a powerful resource to keep you from falling into the clutches of a false teacher. Bible study and memorization are the tools that will increase your spiritual discernment. You must know Scripture; it must become a part of you. 

Weigh the words of those that teach and preach to you from God's Word. This would include Sunday school teachers, Bible study leaders, small group leaders, mentors, counselors, radio and television "preachers" not just pastors and evangelists standing in the pulpit.

1. Do they add opinions or preferences? 
2. Do they add traditions? 
3. Do they add popular worldly thoughts, beliefs, or ideas? 
4. Do they twist God's Word to make it say something it does not?
5. Do they fail to teach the "whole counsel" by leaving things out?

If so, you may have discovered a false teacher... a wolf in sheep's clothing.

1 John 4:1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.

More than Book Learnin'

Wisdom is more than book learnin' although that is part of it. A good education is not to be discounted. But wisdom also includes the ability to discern inner qualities and relationships. It is the ability to perceive right from wrong, true and untrue. It is the ability to make good decisions. That is where Bible study comes in. Wisdom is the combination of knowledge (education), insight (Bible study) and judgment (good sense). Don't neglect Bible study; it is a vital part in gaining wisdom.

Proverbs 4:5 Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth. 7 Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding. 13 Take fast hold of instruction; let her not go: keep her; for she is thy life.

WHY?  Proverbs 4:

6 Forsake her not, and she shall preserve thee: love her, and she shall keep thee. 

 

8 Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honour, when thou dost embrace her. 

 

9 She shall give to thine head an ornament of grace: a crown of glory shall she deliver to thee. 

 

12 When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble. 

 

22 For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.

In the End...

We all like to "comment" about others and the things they do for the Lord. We say, "I would do it differently." Of course we would. Each and every person would do things differently if given the opportunity. Only God knows whether someone's heart is right in their service to Him. Only God knows... and He isn't telling. Our job is to fear God and keep His commandments. Leave everything else up to God.

Ecclesiastes 12: 13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. 14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

Waiting...

Waiting. It is not something that any of us likes. A wise person, however, learns to wait to speak. They make sure they have all the facts, "fact" checks again, then waits some more before speaking. If more would do this, then there would be a lot less anger and strife in our family and church relationships.

Proverbs 29:20 Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him.

Proverbs 29:11 A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards.

James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: 20 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Did You Hear...?

It is a sign of a perverse and treacherous disposition to wound the good name of another, when he has no opportunity of defending himself. ~ John Calvin

When someone tells you a negative about another, it is wise to go to the one being spoken about for the truth.

Proverbs 20:19 He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.

Psalm 101:5 Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.

Proverbs 10:18 He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool.

Growing Pains

As I received news today of a young couple welcoming their 3rd son into the world, I was reminded of a truth: There can be no growth without pain. Labor pains to bring a new baby into a family. "Growing pains" for a child to add another inch to the doorway. As I look back, I realize that each time there was growth, regardless of the area, it was ONLY after a tremendous battle, a trial of faith... a growing pain. I don't know what the Lord has planned, but I eagerly await to see how He will enlarge our coasts.

1 Chronicles 4:10 And Jabez called on the God of Israel, saying, Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast, and that thine hand might be with me, and that thou wouldest keep me from evil, that it may not grieve me! And God granted him that which he requested.

The Other Realm

Most of us study Scripture with the physical realm in mind. However, God is more interested in the spiritual realm. For example, we read passages on parenting or marriage then focus our attention on the do's and don'ts involved and whether we agree with it for "these days". We neglect the greater picture... that these lessons are there to teach us from the physical realm what our relationship with God should be in the spiritual realm. Pondering much today...

Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Digging Deep

People who say they are Christians, but by no means speak or conduct themselves in any Christ-like manner have discouraged many in the last few months. Not isolated situations, but widespread... across the world. 

I've been asked, "WHY? How can they ___ if they profess to be a child of God?" It is simple. The answer lies here:

Proverbs 21:2 Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the Lord pondereth the hearts.

Don't be discouraged. Pray! God knows the hearts. You keep doing right... you keep following His Word... dig deep.

Is It Sheep or Is It a Wolf?

To determine if currency is counterfeit or not, the best tip is to look for differences NOT similarities. The same holds true for determining "counterfeit Christians"... those wolves in sheep clothing, those false teachers in the church. If they don't match up with the Word of God in every area through teaching or their actions... beware!

Psalm 15:1-5 Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? who shall dwell in thy holy hill? 2 He that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. 3 He that backbiteth not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproach against his neighbour. 4 In whose eyes a vile person is contemned; but he honoureth them that fear the Lord. He that sweareth to his own hurt, and changeth not. 5 He that putteth not out his money to usury, nor taketh reward against the innocent. He that doeth these things shall never be moved.

"Mouthy" Speaks?

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." ~ Abraham Lincoln

Or as in the immortal words of one of my favorite Disney characters: "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all". ~ Thumper

Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

Preserving Discretion

discretion: the quality of having or showing discernment or good judgment; the result of separating or distinguishing We must be able to discern the motives of others. ALWAYS rely on GOD'S WORD as your divining rod... not your's or other's opinions.

 

Below is copied from a Francie Taylor post:  (I highly recommend following her blog - you won't regret it!)

 

"People who lack discretion often make unwise decisions due to a lack of wisdom and caution. Discretion preserves us like a guard protects a bank vault. Have you been living without discretion? Be careful. An unguarded life can be robbed.

"Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee..." (Prov. 2:10)"
www.keeptheheart.com

 

 

 

 

There's No Edit Button for Life

Do you remember manual typewriters? If you are over 40, (did I really just type that?) then you probably used one when you learned to type. I was fortunate to have learned to type on an electric typewriter, but I did have to put some time in on a manual “just in case”.  Anytime you made a mistake, regardless of the typewriter, you had to use little whiteout sheets in order to make the correction.  If it wasn’t lined up just so, then break out the whiteout. That was the early 80’s. 

By the late 80’s my electric typewriter and whiteout became a dinosaur with the release of a personal word processor.  It was one step up from an electric typewriter with no where near the capabilities of today’s word processors.  But, they were the first machines with editing abilities. The best part was being able to store your paper then go back to look it over before you printed it. If you had second thoughts or needed to make an addition to the paper it was easy to do with the edit button. We had the time to really think about what we were writing, in hopes of turning in the best work possible.

I think that is what is lacking today. We often do not stop to really think about what we are doing, saying, writing. There is no discernment, no discretion. There is also no edit button.

Today, taking a boudoir photo to “only” be sent to a boyfriend, may find a young lady’s reputation ruined when that picture is posted online. A spiteful text message to a friend about another person can come back to bite you by the end of the day. Let us also not forget that “big brother” is always watching. We have all seen news or television shows with videos of work place pranks, family moments, or “stupid criminals.” We haven’t even touched on the YouTube phenomenon. Cameras are everywhere, whether it is a security camera or someone’s cell phone.

We all need to face facts – THERE IS NO EDIT BUTTON FOR LIFE.  What we text, type, write, say and do is going to be captured somewhere, someway for someone we do not want to see, to see. We don’t have the option of do-overs. Once it is out there – it’s out there.

Many will say that it isn’t fair; our privacy is being invaded. But it is more than just technology capturing an unguarded moment of our lives. We do not have control over everything (particularly the cameras), but we do have control over what we say and do.  This is where discernment comes into play.

Discernment is being able to judge well, to be able to make good decisions. Other words associated with discernment are discriminating, wisdom, insight, and perception. A Titus 2 Woman is to be discreet, which indicates an ability to exhibit discernment in actions and speech. However, we see a growing lack of discernment in not only our young people, but in the adults as well. We see daily that people no longer feel compelled to be respectful to others, to esteem someone else better than themselves. (Philippians 2:3, Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.) We have a generation (or two) who sees that the needs (and wants) of the individual come first. Often this is exhibited by posting obscene, angry or bitter messages or raunchy and racy pictures without any consideration of how others may be affected or how those things may affect them in the future.

Are you a discerning person?  Do you think before you text? Do you guard what photos you place on Facebook or elsewhere? Do you consider that parents, a spouse, your employer, your teachers, your pastor sees the things that you write and post? Do you ask yourself how what you are doing could be interpreted or misinterpreted by someone on the outside? Do you take the time to make decisions, both great and small? 

Ecclesiastes 8:1-5: ¹Who is as the wise man? and who knoweth the interpretation of a thing? a man's wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the boldness of his face shall be changed. 

²I counsel thee to keep the king's commandment, and that in regard of the oath of God. 

³Be not hasty to go out of his sight: stand not in an evil thing; for he doeth whatsoever pleaseth him. 

⁴Where the word of a king is, there is power: and who may say unto him, What doest thou? 

⁵Whoso keepeth the commandment shall feel no evil thing: and a wise man's heart discerneth both time and judgment.