Entering this new phase of my life has caused me to re-examine the phrase "cutting the apron strings." Those who still have children at home ask if I am alright or if I am "okay with it" I suppose in trying to understand how they are going to feel when their children leave the nest. I imagine that there is a bit of fear of the future as well as the stereotypical "moms who have fallen apart" that they are hoping does not happen to them. Those who have children who are out on their own, however, respond in two different ways. The first, and quite frankly the majority, is to commiserate how horrible it is that our children have left home, how lonely it is, how difficult it is and tell me of all the things I should do in order to "keep a strong" relationship with my child. The second, and much smaller, group asks what my plans are now that I have time for myself: what hobbies am I beginning, what work projects do I have planned, or "what are you going to do with his room?" Clearly one group has adjusted well to the transition and the other simply cannot let go.
Aprons are not as popular as they once were. We've all seen the TV shows from the 50's and 60's -- Leave It To Beaver, Father Knows Best, etc. -- with the mothers looking their finest at all hours of the day, wearing their trusty aprons. In Little House on the Prairie, Ma used her apron to carry things, wipe dirty faces, protect her clothing, or provide a hiding place for a shy daughter. In our symbolic "apron" of parenting, we do many of the same things that the trusty apron did for those TV moms. We help our children with school projects, clean and clothe them, protect and hide them from the harshness of the world. However, we forget that when the work was done, those hard working mothers took off their aprons. She untied the apron strings and either hung up or laid down that apron. It was ready for the next time she was summoned to work.
That phrase "cutting the apron strings" would not have served the TV mom well. If the TV mom had cut the apron strings it would not have been ready for work the next time she needed it. She would have to take time to repair the damage. If she was a skillful seamstress she could repair the cut, but the ties would never be as strong as they could have been if she had simply untied the strings. If the ties were tied too tight when the apron was needed again, the potential for damage or failure would be great.
I have watched over the years parents who seem to have tied the apron strings a bit too tight. These were the parents who stayed up at night finishing the child's school project so the child could sleep, who bribed their children with cold hard cash to not go to camp, who did not teach their children to do household chores, or who asked for the rules to be bent or changed altogether in order to suit their child (or more specifically, the parent!). There are usually one of two endings to this sad story. The first is that the parent controlled and manipulated the child's life so much that the young adult is crippled and unable to stand on his own two feet with confidence. Then there are parents who later ask, "I don't understand. We raised them 'right'. We taught them 'right'. We had them in church. Why don't they 'love' me?" The second ending is that the parents held on too tight and the child has cut the apron strings, severing the relationship that the parent wrongly thought they controlled.
Proverbs 22:6 has been before me since I was 4 years old. It was the theme verse for our Christian school and emblazoned on school walls, plaques, yearbooks and book covers. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." I know that my husband and I have taught Nathan well in these last 18 years. He is a legal adult now, held responsible by the government, employers and soon his college. For all intents and purposes, my parenting days are done. My apron is being untied by me. The apron is being laid aside until it is is called into action by Nathan's request, not by mine. The days of freely dispensing advise is over. Now, I must restrain myself to wait until called upon. I know that my apron strings are sure, strong, intact and ready to go at a moments notice. How's your apron holding up?
Until next time....
P.S. I am going to be blogging a bit on the "empty nest" for awhile. I realized yesterday when I dropped Nathan off for 2 weeks of camp that there are many misconceptions, wrong thinking, etc. regarding the empty nest after I was asked (once again) was I "okay" with him being gone so long. I promise to be honest about the emotions. And, yes, I have cried myself to sleep a few times in the last year as we approached graduation. From what I have been able to research that is "normal" behavior so I'm not too worried about it. But, I would never want my emotions to cloud Nathan's ability to make the decisions for his life that I know he needs to make for himself. So, if you still have kids at home or you are having difficulty letting go of your kids or have parents who won't quite let you go, stay tuned. We'll see what God's Word says about parenting as well as try to provide some tips for preparing for the inevitable.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
19 (Years) and Counting...
We are gathered here today in the presence of God and these witnesses to join together in holy matrimony.... Shortly after 2 pm on June 8, 1991, Dan and I heard these same words. Can it really be that 19 years have passed? Where did the time go?
I have been thinking about that day and the days leading up to it, particularly the marriage counseling and the vows themselves. We could never have imagined on that day the things we would face together. We were not naive in thinking that everything would be a walk in the park. Perhaps we were, as my husband likes to say, "stupid enough to simply follow God's Word and His ways".
On one of our anniversary overnight trips we made a comment about celebrating our anniversary to the clerk at the check-in desk. "Really?! How long have you been married?" We answered, "Ten years." The clerk began congratulating us for staying together so long, how wonderful it was, etc. We walked away a bit confused. Sure, "staying together" for ten years is a great accomplishment, but it hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of the time we hope the Lord allows us as husband and wife. When we said our vows "to death us do part", we meant it.
We have gone through a great deal as husband and wife in our 19 years of marriage. After the loss of our second son, Andrew in 1993, the chaplaincy at Duke University Hospital gave us several booklets and pamphlets that dealt with the loss of a child and the grief process we could expect to face. A few weeks later I came across them one day while cleaning. Since I'm easily distracted (especially when I'm cleaning!), something on one of the covers caught my attention. As I read, I was stunned to learn that nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce within a few years of the loss of a child. That was really sad to me. Over the years Dan and I have monitored the divorce rate as part of our ministry research. The rate of divorce is holding steady or slightly higher than the 50% mark for couples who suffer any type of tragedy -- illness of a spouse or child, caring for a special needs child, financial difficulty, etc. In the 19 years of our marriage we have faced the deaths of 4 babies, 5 job lay offs and other financial stresses, major ministry challenges, and several health scares for both of us. Any one of these things would have done in some marriages. How have we been able to "stay together" through ALL of this?
On this day of remembering our marriage, I want to thank my husband for being such a faithful man to God's Word and His will. Dan, you are the light of my life, the joy of my heart. Your are my best friend and my lover. I love you and am so privileged to be your wife. Happy Anniversary!!
I have been thinking about that day and the days leading up to it, particularly the marriage counseling and the vows themselves. We could never have imagined on that day the things we would face together. We were not naive in thinking that everything would be a walk in the park. Perhaps we were, as my husband likes to say, "stupid enough to simply follow God's Word and His ways".
On one of our anniversary overnight trips we made a comment about celebrating our anniversary to the clerk at the check-in desk. "Really?! How long have you been married?" We answered, "Ten years." The clerk began congratulating us for staying together so long, how wonderful it was, etc. We walked away a bit confused. Sure, "staying together" for ten years is a great accomplishment, but it hadn't even begun to scratch the surface of the time we hope the Lord allows us as husband and wife. When we said our vows "to death us do part", we meant it.
We have gone through a great deal as husband and wife in our 19 years of marriage. After the loss of our second son, Andrew in 1993, the chaplaincy at Duke University Hospital gave us several booklets and pamphlets that dealt with the loss of a child and the grief process we could expect to face. A few weeks later I came across them one day while cleaning. Since I'm easily distracted (especially when I'm cleaning!), something on one of the covers caught my attention. As I read, I was stunned to learn that nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce within a few years of the loss of a child. That was really sad to me. Over the years Dan and I have monitored the divorce rate as part of our ministry research. The rate of divorce is holding steady or slightly higher than the 50% mark for couples who suffer any type of tragedy -- illness of a spouse or child, caring for a special needs child, financial difficulty, etc. In the 19 years of our marriage we have faced the deaths of 4 babies, 5 job lay offs and other financial stresses, major ministry challenges, and several health scares for both of us. Any one of these things would have done in some marriages. How have we been able to "stay together" through ALL of this?
- Faith in God. Romans 8:26, Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Romans 8:28, And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. The Lord has revealed some things to us and shown us how some of these events have worked in His plans; but, there are still some areas where we just cannot see the hand of God. We both committed as teenagers to follow God's will and what He had for our lives... no matter what, no matter who. Those individual commitments to God as teens were very important for our future lives together.
- Commitment to each other. Genesis 2:23, 24, And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. It was "spooky" before we were married when we could finish each others sentences. Now, after 19 years of marriage, there are times I wonder if we have developed mind reading capabilities. (We haven't, but... there are times!) One of the best decisions we ever made was to move to Michigan our first year of marriage. Why? Both sets of parents were in Florida. We did not have the luxury of "running home to mama and daddy". Nor did we have to cope with unsolicited advice or demands for audience that so many newly (or not-so-newly) married couples do. When the tough times came, we had to deal with them... together. When the disagreements came, we had to solve them... together. We established our own family traditions and routines without interference or outside expectations... together. The only third party in our relationship is God. We have become one... physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
- We "fight" fair. One of the books that we had to read in our marriage counseling was Good 'n' Angry by Les Carter. As a young lady in love I just couldn't imagine ever having a fight with my beloved. Over the years I can't really say that we have had any real major "fights", but we've had some rather loud disagreements. There are no two people on the planet who will agree together on every issue; in a marriage, it is no different.
- We protect our relationship. We do not allow anyone, family member, friend or stranger, to attack the other. If we differ on a matter, no one else will know so as not to use that issue as a potential weapon to fracture the marriage relationship; we are a united front as far as anyone is concerned. We know each others passwords to keep us honest or share accounts; temptations lurk everywhere. As a wife, I am ever vigilant to respect my husband at all times, including with the "girls". One of the worst things a wife can do is to join in "husband-bashing" or "men-bashing" conversations. These conversations do nothing but tear down the relationship you have with your husband. Men need respect, women need love.
On this day of remembering our marriage, I want to thank my husband for being such a faithful man to God's Word and His will. Dan, you are the light of my life, the joy of my heart. Your are my best friend and my lover. I love you and am so privileged to be your wife. Happy Anniversary!!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Modest Matters
Spring and summer clothes are here... sort of. I'm not really sure if what I'm seeing on store racks can be constituted as "clothing"; it barely covers anything! What happened to the basic sense to cover oneself? Where is the shamefacedness? I know some of you are thinking, "Oh, no! She's gone 'ultra-fundy'!" I ask you to stick around for the duration. You just may learn a few things.
If you have spent any time in the world work force you know that every place of business has a dress code. (If you aren't sure about your place of business, go ask your HR department. You may have missed it in your orientation materials.) Some of the dress codes are for safety reasons, some are for uniformity in the work place, and some are to keep distractions down in the office. Some employers do not enforce the dress code unless it becomes a problem or a safety issue. Others enforce it to the letter of the law. One place I know of had an office manager that enforced their 3"-above-the-knee skirt length rule with a ruler. If a woman failed, she was sent home to change and she lost the time it took to do so. Why? The office was a sheriff's department where many men worked. The too-short skirts were a great distraction in the office. Even Walt Disney World has an employee dress code that would make some churches ashamed of their own dress standards.
Yet, when it comes to church, we feel that it is honky-dorrie to "let it all hang out" in the place where we worship our Savior. I know that the world has taught us that as women we can do whatever we want; that we do not need to be accountable to anyone. But, as Christians, aren't we accountable to God? Shouldn't we be accountable to the men and boys around us so as not to be a stumbling block to them? The way we dress tells a great deal about our heart condition. What does your wardrobe reveal about you? Are you submissive? Or are you rebellious? Do you exhibit humility? Do you esteem others better than yourself? Are you looking out for the welfare of those around you?
In my research for this topic in another project I am working on I learned that the Mormon and Catholic churches have very strong dress standards... sometimes even stronger than some of the Baptist churches I have visited. So, in order to help those who are just starting out on the adventure of dressing modestly, I've come up with a very BASIC DRESS STANDARD that I think will help give you a basis with which to develop your own personal dress standard and that of your daughters, regardless of age.
Modesty is not always about dress.... it is also about deportment. I cannot tell you the number of beautiful brides I have seen in the last several years draw attention to themselves in very unflattering ways as they tugged and pulled at their strapless gowns -- during the ceremony!! Nor can I tell you of the number of teen girls who clearly were uncomfortable in their strapless or spaghetti strapped prom gown while at a restaurant. Too many times I have seen these young ladies pull and tug drawing attention to their breasts. As the young ladies began realizing the young men ogling them they tried to cover up with whatever wrap they had present. Suddenly, the "sexy" dress wasn't what they thought it would be.
Those of us who grew up with strict dress standards know the horrors of air balloon culottes as being our "fashion statement". Even though they were modest in looks, they were not always modest in practicality. How many times do you remember girls flashing their unmentionables while sitting on the bleachers or playing all the crazy games we played in youth group? For all intents and purposes, culottes weren't exactly the best option either. As women become more involved in extreme sports and activities we must consider every aspect of the activity as a dress standard is established -- perhaps on an activity by activity basis. What may be appropriate for one occasion, may not be appropriate for another.
We must determine to discern what truly is modest -- in accordance with God's Word and His principles. Modesty is not about drawing attention to oneself... in fact it is quite the opposite. Those who are critical of others who do "let it all hang out" may at times be unwittingly drawing attention to their own selves and their standards rather than to our Savior, a practice that moves counter to what they want to accomplish. Too many times those with clear dress standards are quick to judge and those without clear standards are quick to complain instead of realizing that the Lord may not have dealt with someone on the issue of modesty as yet. The Christian walk is a process of growth; none of us are where we ought to be in God's eyes.
We also must discern what is modest and appropriate for each of us. What may be perfectly modest on one body type (your best friend) may be entirely immodest on another (you). I would love to wear a surplice style blouse, but because of the cut of the blouse I choose not to as it would be immodest on me. Yet, on another woman, the style is very becoming and not immodest at all. I have also learned that questionable styles can be "fixed" simply by layering a top underneath. I still get to have the current style, but I have corrected the immodest aspect of it. Determine your own modest style and stick with it.
I hope that this has sparked an interest for you in learning more about modesty. I'm not here to dictate what anyone wears. However, what we wear does affect those around us -- especially men and teenage boys. What we wear says a great deal about us. What exactly are your clothes saying about you and your daughters?
Below are a few websites to help you develop your own sense of modesty.
Modesty Survey -- strongly encourage every man and woman to read this in depth survey; be sure to read the comments written by the men and boys who took the survey
Pure Fashion -- model training program for teenage girls; focuses on modesty
Modesty Article -- please practice the gleaning principle when reading this article
Revive Our Hearts -- Modesty -- multiple resources on the topic of modesty and purity
If you are searching for modest clothing, well, you have no farther to look than your nearest search engine. There are numerous resources on the internet that can help with all sorts of clothing needs. Regardless of what your preferences are regarding modesty you are sure to find something that meets your standards.
Modest Clothing Directory -- this site lists every known modest clothing retailer on the internet; from ultra conservative to orthodox to every day clothes in brick and mortar stores
Modest Clothing Site -- another directory; not quite as many as above; includes a swimwear section (scroll to bottom of their page for the link)
Dressing for His Glory -- skirts, culottes, skorts (the best skorts!); women and girls
Slim Perfect Swimwear -- you have to see it; it was even recommended in O magazine (yep, Oprah!)
Funky Frum -- stylish and trendy modest clothing
Great Lengths -- tops, shorts/capris, formal gowns; men, women, children
Knee Shorts -- layering tops/T-shirts, shorts/capris/skirts; men, women, children
Beautifully Modest -- BRIDAL -- for every female in the bridal party plus "prom" dresses
If you have spent any time in the world work force you know that every place of business has a dress code. (If you aren't sure about your place of business, go ask your HR department. You may have missed it in your orientation materials.) Some of the dress codes are for safety reasons, some are for uniformity in the work place, and some are to keep distractions down in the office. Some employers do not enforce the dress code unless it becomes a problem or a safety issue. Others enforce it to the letter of the law. One place I know of had an office manager that enforced their 3"-above-the-knee skirt length rule with a ruler. If a woman failed, she was sent home to change and she lost the time it took to do so. Why? The office was a sheriff's department where many men worked. The too-short skirts were a great distraction in the office. Even Walt Disney World has an employee dress code that would make some churches ashamed of their own dress standards.
Yet, when it comes to church, we feel that it is honky-dorrie to "let it all hang out" in the place where we worship our Savior. I know that the world has taught us that as women we can do whatever we want; that we do not need to be accountable to anyone. But, as Christians, aren't we accountable to God? Shouldn't we be accountable to the men and boys around us so as not to be a stumbling block to them? The way we dress tells a great deal about our heart condition. What does your wardrobe reveal about you? Are you submissive? Or are you rebellious? Do you exhibit humility? Do you esteem others better than yourself? Are you looking out for the welfare of those around you?
In my research for this topic in another project I am working on I learned that the Mormon and Catholic churches have very strong dress standards... sometimes even stronger than some of the Baptist churches I have visited. So, in order to help those who are just starting out on the adventure of dressing modestly, I've come up with a very BASIC DRESS STANDARD that I think will help give you a basis with which to develop your own personal dress standard and that of your daughters, regardless of age.
- Primarily, the shoulders to the knees needs to be covered. This has been determined by Bible scholars of every denomination as the area to be covered in which to remain modest. This would mean no strapless or spaghetti straps (including sundresses). Does this mean they can't be worn? No, as long as a top is worn underneath; you just need to be creative. Some also suggest that if sleeveless garments are worn, the width of the sleeveless garment should be a minimum of 3". The theory is that that width is best to cover undergarments. (For more information on why this is important, please read the Modesty Survey.)
- The neckline should be no lower than 4 fingers below the collar bone in front, nor 5 fingers below the neck in the back. In essence, be sure to cover the breast area, including cleavage. Nothing is more distracting to a man than for a woman to not be aware of her cleavage; believe me, he is VERY aware whether he wants to be or not.
- The best way to tell if any garment is "long enough" -- if the garment can touch the floor when you are kneeling, it is long enough.
- Lastly, is the issue of what is "too tight". If you can pinch material (1/2"-1" is the usual suggestion) between your fingers with your hands at rest by your side, the garment is considered loose.
Modesty is not always about dress.... it is also about deportment. I cannot tell you the number of beautiful brides I have seen in the last several years draw attention to themselves in very unflattering ways as they tugged and pulled at their strapless gowns -- during the ceremony!! Nor can I tell you of the number of teen girls who clearly were uncomfortable in their strapless or spaghetti strapped prom gown while at a restaurant. Too many times I have seen these young ladies pull and tug drawing attention to their breasts. As the young ladies began realizing the young men ogling them they tried to cover up with whatever wrap they had present. Suddenly, the "sexy" dress wasn't what they thought it would be.
Those of us who grew up with strict dress standards know the horrors of air balloon culottes as being our "fashion statement". Even though they were modest in looks, they were not always modest in practicality. How many times do you remember girls flashing their unmentionables while sitting on the bleachers or playing all the crazy games we played in youth group? For all intents and purposes, culottes weren't exactly the best option either. As women become more involved in extreme sports and activities we must consider every aspect of the activity as a dress standard is established -- perhaps on an activity by activity basis. What may be appropriate for one occasion, may not be appropriate for another.
We must determine to discern what truly is modest -- in accordance with God's Word and His principles. Modesty is not about drawing attention to oneself... in fact it is quite the opposite. Those who are critical of others who do "let it all hang out" may at times be unwittingly drawing attention to their own selves and their standards rather than to our Savior, a practice that moves counter to what they want to accomplish. Too many times those with clear dress standards are quick to judge and those without clear standards are quick to complain instead of realizing that the Lord may not have dealt with someone on the issue of modesty as yet. The Christian walk is a process of growth; none of us are where we ought to be in God's eyes.
We also must discern what is modest and appropriate for each of us. What may be perfectly modest on one body type (your best friend) may be entirely immodest on another (you). I would love to wear a surplice style blouse, but because of the cut of the blouse I choose not to as it would be immodest on me. Yet, on another woman, the style is very becoming and not immodest at all. I have also learned that questionable styles can be "fixed" simply by layering a top underneath. I still get to have the current style, but I have corrected the immodest aspect of it. Determine your own modest style and stick with it.
I hope that this has sparked an interest for you in learning more about modesty. I'm not here to dictate what anyone wears. However, what we wear does affect those around us -- especially men and teenage boys. What we wear says a great deal about us. What exactly are your clothes saying about you and your daughters?
Below are a few websites to help you develop your own sense of modesty.
Modesty Survey -- strongly encourage every man and woman to read this in depth survey; be sure to read the comments written by the men and boys who took the survey
Pure Fashion -- model training program for teenage girls; focuses on modesty
Modesty Article -- please practice the gleaning principle when reading this article
Revive Our Hearts -- Modesty -- multiple resources on the topic of modesty and purity
If you are searching for modest clothing, well, you have no farther to look than your nearest search engine. There are numerous resources on the internet that can help with all sorts of clothing needs. Regardless of what your preferences are regarding modesty you are sure to find something that meets your standards.
Modest Clothing Directory -- this site lists every known modest clothing retailer on the internet; from ultra conservative to orthodox to every day clothes in brick and mortar stores
Modest Clothing Site -- another directory; not quite as many as above; includes a swimwear section (scroll to bottom of their page for the link)
Dressing for His Glory -- skirts, culottes, skorts (the best skorts!); women and girls
Slim Perfect Swimwear -- you have to see it; it was even recommended in O magazine (yep, Oprah!)
Funky Frum -- stylish and trendy modest clothing
Great Lengths -- tops, shorts/capris, formal gowns; men, women, children
Knee Shorts -- layering tops/T-shirts, shorts/capris/skirts; men, women, children
Beautifully Modest -- BRIDAL -- for every female in the bridal party plus "prom" dresses
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Helpful Tips for SANE Time Management
Life is "calming" down, at least for the next few minutes! So, let's get back to the time management issue. I think we can all agree that there is just too much life happening sometimes. Work, school, family events, church responsibilities, not to mention all the extra curricular activities we and our kids tend to become involved in -- PTA meetings, local charity events, sports, music lessons, play practices and play dates to name but a few. When do we have time to cook and clean or simply have time to ENJOY our lives??
I have been an active student of the mystical "Virtuous Woman" since I was eighteen. She seemed to me to be the epitome of the Christian woman and I want to be just like her. As I first began studying I was overwhelmed with the thought of one day being able to care for a family, run a business and be a good wife as she was. One particular study session as a young wife and mother had me bemoaning (aka - whining) that I simply had too much to do. Of course, the Virtuous Woman could get everything done, have time to run a business and have a terrific wardrobe!! SHE HAD MAIDS! But as the Lord began working on me I realized that I had maids too. At the time of the Virtuous Woman there was no running water, except what she went and fetched from the well. There were no fast food restaurants, unless you count picking up raw fruits and vegetables at the market. (Wouldn't my son have loved for me to count that as a fast food meal!) There was no bread store to run to when she ran out just before company came. The laundry was done down at the river. Her wonderful wardrobe had to be shorn from the animals, turned into thread or yarn, dyed the desired color then woven into the material all before the garment could even be constructed.
Today, we are so blessed in all the modern conveniences we have. The problem is that we are not good managers of our "maids". We do not delegate authority. We all have the washer and dryer down... we at least know how to work them. But do we have a regular schedule of when to do the laundry? Or do we wait until there are no more clean clothes available? Do we dread the thought of Mount Washmore? Meals are on the fly most of the time, yet if we took the time to plan... crock pot meals would be waiting when we arrived at home. Fresh bread could be ready with the use of a bread machine with timer. Even doubling a recipe could feed your family one night and the other half of the recipe frozen for a quick meal weeks later. We haven't even discussed sweeping, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning or window washing!
As the CEO of your home, learn to take the time to plan your work. Production managers at manufacturing plants know that the product will not be put out unless there is a specific plan. Your home is the manufacturing plant; it isn't going to be neat and clean or the family fed without a plan. Are there kinks every now and then that get you off schedule? Absolutely! But with a plan, you will quickly be able to get things back on track.
There are many resources that you can use to help learn how to plan to accomplish your homemaking goals.
FlyLady -- the mantra here is "Baby Steps" and "15 minutes"
Motivated Moms -- printable chore planning system for purchase; includes daily Bible reading plan
Messies Anonymous -- support for Messies who desire to organize home and work
Emilie Barnes -- author of More Hours in My Day and many other books; email newsletter available
Organized Home -- includes a little bit of everything for homemaking tips (including meal planning)
If you need help in meal planning, check out these resources.
Once A Month Cooking by Mary Beth Lagerborg and Mimi Wilson
Once-A-Month Cooking Family Favorites by Mary Beth Lagerborg
Don't Panic - Dinner's in the Freezer by Susie Martinez, Bonnie Garcia, Vanda Howell
Frozen Assets: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month by Deborah Taylor-Hough
I have been an active student of the mystical "Virtuous Woman" since I was eighteen. She seemed to me to be the epitome of the Christian woman and I want to be just like her. As I first began studying I was overwhelmed with the thought of one day being able to care for a family, run a business and be a good wife as she was. One particular study session as a young wife and mother had me bemoaning (aka - whining) that I simply had too much to do. Of course, the Virtuous Woman could get everything done, have time to run a business and have a terrific wardrobe!! SHE HAD MAIDS! But as the Lord began working on me I realized that I had maids too. At the time of the Virtuous Woman there was no running water, except what she went and fetched from the well. There were no fast food restaurants, unless you count picking up raw fruits and vegetables at the market. (Wouldn't my son have loved for me to count that as a fast food meal!) There was no bread store to run to when she ran out just before company came. The laundry was done down at the river. Her wonderful wardrobe had to be shorn from the animals, turned into thread or yarn, dyed the desired color then woven into the material all before the garment could even be constructed.
Today, we are so blessed in all the modern conveniences we have. The problem is that we are not good managers of our "maids". We do not delegate authority. We all have the washer and dryer down... we at least know how to work them. But do we have a regular schedule of when to do the laundry? Or do we wait until there are no more clean clothes available? Do we dread the thought of Mount Washmore? Meals are on the fly most of the time, yet if we took the time to plan... crock pot meals would be waiting when we arrived at home. Fresh bread could be ready with the use of a bread machine with timer. Even doubling a recipe could feed your family one night and the other half of the recipe frozen for a quick meal weeks later. We haven't even discussed sweeping, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning or window washing!
As the CEO of your home, learn to take the time to plan your work. Production managers at manufacturing plants know that the product will not be put out unless there is a specific plan. Your home is the manufacturing plant; it isn't going to be neat and clean or the family fed without a plan. Are there kinks every now and then that get you off schedule? Absolutely! But with a plan, you will quickly be able to get things back on track.
There are many resources that you can use to help learn how to plan to accomplish your homemaking goals.
FlyLady -- the mantra here is "Baby Steps" and "15 minutes"
Motivated Moms -- printable chore planning system for purchase; includes daily Bible reading plan
Messies Anonymous -- support for Messies who desire to organize home and work
Emilie Barnes -- author of More Hours in My Day and many other books; email newsletter available
Organized Home -- includes a little bit of everything for homemaking tips (including meal planning)
If you need help in meal planning, check out these resources.
Books: (all can be found at Amazon.com)
Once A Month Cooking by Mary Beth Lagerborg and Mimi Wilson
Once-A-Month Cooking Family Favorites by Mary Beth Lagerborg
Don't Panic - Dinner's in the Freezer by Susie Martinez, Bonnie Garcia, Vanda Howell
Frozen Assets: Cook for a Day, Eat for a Month by Deborah Taylor-Hough
Websites:
30 Day Gourmet -- locate tips and tricks, meal planning plans, and tons of tried and true recipes
Dinner's in the Freezer -- many recipes to help get you started plus pantry meal recipes
Bulk Freezer Cooking -- more recipes
Learn Once a Month Cooking in 7 Easy Steps -- excellent article to explain HOW to plan and implement
These are only a few of the many resources available to assist you in your goals to becoming more organized and in control of your home and your time.
Our journey in becoming the virtuous woman will not be complete overnight. It is a lifelong journey that we must strive to achieve everyday. May you begin the journey with me to defeat the old philosophy of we must "have it all" and learn to ENJOY THE JOURNEY TODAY!
Until next time...
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