Teaching a Life of Excellence

This last week you may have seen the news story about the young man who was denied the bonus money in Final Jeopardy for misspelling the correct answer. He wasn't in the running to win the whole show, only for extra money. The uproar against host Alex Trebek and the show has been... well, I should say "unbelievable," but I'm afraid I'm not shocked.

In a world where kids are given awards for “best art project for Spring” or “best writing of the letter ‘A’” is it any wonder that we have kids who cannot handle disappointment and defeat? This is why I'm not, nor have ever been, a fan of "everyone gets a trophy" in little league. From what I’ve been led to understand, the same is now true for school end-of-year award ceremonies. EVERYONE must receive at least one certificate or trophy regardless of the insignificance of the “accomplishment”; the former ‘build-their-little-egos’ go-to “participation” award no longer suffices.

Sadly, I’ve seen this world philosophy filter into our churches as well. Children’s ministry award nights have become ridiculous. One church actually gave out “perfect attendance” awards for MISSING one or fewer club meetings. How can we then stand and teach of God’s perfection when we have clearly redefined “perfection?” Kids are far smarter than we give them credit. They do understand when we say one thing and do another which leads to confused kids. They know when they receive an award that is phony and insignificant.

Disappointments come. Failures occur. Someone just may be better at something than you are. Learning how to deal with these things as a child only helps them be a stronger less reliant on society adult.

I once misspelled a word on a Spanish test. Instead of a 100, I received a 98. The answer was correct, simply misspelled. A fellow student also misspelled the same answer, but received credit for it. (Their grade was not nearly as high.) I asked the teacher about it. Her thickly Cuban accented reply, "Melissa, you are such a good student. I expect better of you." That made a HUGE impact on me... not negatively, but to encourage me to live a life striving for the best, not perfection, but of excellence. (Thank you, Mrs. Richardson, for the life lesson!!)

Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.

Proverbs 13:12

The purpose of “everyone should receive an award so that they don’t feel bad about themselves” sounds like a good idea. But, it only sounds like it. Satan is the great liar. He takes God’s truth and twists it ever so slightly to appeal to our sinful nature… without our realizing or identifying it. That’s what he did to Eve; it is what he does today.

No one wants to lose, but an award for doing nothing or for a mediocre performance, over time, will be more demoralizing than learning to deal with the loss, disappointment, and failure at the time that it happens.

Instead, let’s focus on what the Bible teaches regarding accomplishments.

1. Remember to do all to the glory of God. Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

2. Work with a spirit of excellence in mind. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou goest. Ecclesiastes 9:10

3. Our reaction to disappointments and struggles is a testimony revealing our character. …7b there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. 8 For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. 9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. 2 Corinthians 12:7b-10

4. We must be faithful in little things in order to receive greater rewards. His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. Matthew 25:21

5. The Lord uses our disappointments, losses, and failures to His glory. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

6. Sometimes, God uses struggles to drive us closer to Him. 8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life: 9 But we had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead: 2 Corinthians 1:8-9

Teaching our children these lessons when disappointments, trials, losses, and struggles come during the training years will net us adult children ready to move forward into the world with a strong sense of Who God is, who they are in Him, and a willingness to trust Him in both the good times and the bad.

365 Days

One year. 365 days. Seems like a long time, doesn’t it? I’m still trying to figure out what happened to 2012. Many plans accomplished, some still in progress, some never begun. In the next few days, many of us will pull out our new calendars to fill them in. Others will make resolutions in many different areas, particularly health and fitness goals. I would like to challenge you to consider making some spiritual goals.

One of the questions that has stuck with me the most over the years is: are you closer to the Lord now than you were a year ago? It is a convicting question. Regardless of where we are in our Christian journey, there is room for improvement.

Below are suggestions to consider as spiritual goals. Remember, it takes 3 to 4 weeks for a habit to be established. Choose one or more, but, instead of trying to accomplish multiple goals at the same time, spread them out over months. When one goal becomes a habit, add the next. Don’t be discouraged if you slip up, Satan likes to use that to defeat you. Just pick up where you left off. Most of all, ask the Lord to help you accomplish the goal for Him.

Daily devotional reading. If you are just beginning, don’t try to do too much at first. You will become discouraged. Read a Proverbs a day to get you going. Choose a verse to dwell on for the day. (Often the verse “chooses” you.) If you are experienced in this area, change up your devotional routine; do something different. Try a word study. Choose a passage of Scripture to go through word by word. Thoroughly study a Bible principle or doctrine.

Read through the Bible. This goal is great for establishing discipline in our lives as well as familiarizing us with God’s Word. However, if you are like me, you may find yourself struggling once you reach the genealogies. There are numerous plans available for reading the Bible. Most Bible reading plans are for a year, but there are those set up for as long as 3 years to as little as 90 days. Some plans provide variety by reading a little from the Old Testament and New Testament each day. One plan in particular that I find helpful, especially for beginners or those project oriented, is the Read through the Bible Plan for Shirkers and Slackers. Although not calendar based, it does have specific sections of the Bible to read each day.

Shake up your prayer life. Our prayer life is very important. Prayer is our way of communicating with our Lord and Savior. There are several aspects and areas you may want to consider improving through the year.

• Conversational prayer. The Bible says to pray without ceasing. To do this we in essence have a running conversation with the Lord all day. As you are cleaning, driving, or working simple talk to the Lord about what you are doing. If someone comes to mind, pray for them. Believe it or not, you do not need to know details of a person's situation to effectively pray for them. The Lord already knows; ask Him to help and encourage them even though you don't know the reason.
• Corporate prayer. Are you terrified of being called on to pray in a social setting? Ask the Lord to help you step out of your comfort zone this year to pray when asked in a group.
• Closet prayer. This type of prayer is specific time set aside to pray for others as well as needs. Establish an organized way in which to pray for requests whether a journal, note cards, or prayer list. Date entries when added and when answered. This tool will encourage you when you are discouraged.
• Prayer and fasting. Many people are afraid of this area of prayer. Typically, fasting does mean going without food for a period of time with the mindset of setting that time aside to get hold of God for a specific need. It requires sacrifice on our part. Fasting does not necessarily mean you need to go a day or more without sustenance. You may choose to go without one meal each day for a few days or longer setting aside the time you would have had for the meal for prayer. Some choose to go without a specific type of food for a period of time and also set aside a specific amount of time dedicated to pray for the request. If you have a health concern that may prevent you from a food fast, you could choose to fast from television, the internet, or other activity using that time instead to pray.

Commit to do. Each year thousands upon thousands of people commit to beginning a physical fitness goal. This can also be done with a spiritual goal. Commit to serve faithfully in a specific area for the Lord in your local church. If your church already has pre-scheduled weekly areas of service available to the church body such as church visitation, a letter writing ministry to missionaries or shut-ins, or any number of other ministries, start by becoming a faithful servant in one of these areas. If you are already faithful in one or more of these areas go to your pastor, explain your goal for the year, and ask if there is anything additional you can do at your church.

Change of diet. This is a case of the “garbage in, garbage out” rule. Re-evaluate your entertainment choices. Examine your relationships. What are your feeding your mind and soul? What goes in will eventually come out. In our physical diet, we are healthiest when we fill our bodies with good food; many diet gurus will also tell us to be careful of our relationships as some people tend to sabotage our diet and fitness goals. The same is true for our spiritual diet. We often wonder why we struggle with worry, anger, jealousy, among other things. A change in diet will do wonders.

Change your thinking. This is a bit more than a change of diet. This challenge will cause you to dig deep for what you truly believe. It will reveal worldly philosophies that have crept into your thinking and belief system polluting the absolute truth of God’s Word you thought you knew. To change your thinking you will need to start asking two new questions and remove one.

• Remove the question: what is wrong with that? All too often, when this question is asked it is with a rebellious attitude, however subtle it may be. (I should know, I’ve said it many times myself.) However, even if asked with an attitude of truly wanting the truth, the question leaves open the ability to rationalize the answer instead of providing absolute truth.
• Add the question: what is right with that? By changing your mindset to finding what is right with a situation you begin to train your heart, mind, and soul to accept only absolute truth as the answer. In other words, the Bible will become the final authority for each situation you face.
• Add the question: why? This question works in tandem with “what is right with that?” in that you must determine a few things. Every aspect of your life needs to have an answer to the question “why?” Why do you do what you do? Do you have a verse for your actions? Do you have a Bible principle that you stand on? Does your principle or action violate any other principle in the Bible? Why do you believe what you believe?  

These are only a few goals you may want to consider. But don't think you need to wait for January 1st. Choose any day: a birthday, anniversary or any random day. The day you begin doesn't really matter. What does matter is the answer a year later to this question: are you closer to the Lord now than you were a year ago?

Feel free to share spiritual goals you have done in the past or ones you may be considering now to encourage others. For a list of Bible reading plans, online devotionals, and other Bible study resources go to churchhelps.org Bible study page.